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While you read his lessons, listen to the manicorn theme song!

3.22.05 - If you are friends with a lover of stickers, consider giving them pre-made store-bought stickers. Making your own stickers is difficult, and even more difficult is conveying that you have creatively made stickers of stickers.

3.21.05 - DO NOT invest in Lego-based technologies. I learned this the hard way.

3.16.05 - When navigating jungles along the Amazon, take breaks to swing on vines like Tarzan. Because honestly, are you really sure that you will ever be back?

3.15.05 - It's always important to have an outlet for your feelings. If you ever find yourself stuck in an orphanage managed by a nutcase, learn to express yourself by rehearsing and performing rousing song and dance routines about being down on your luck.

3.14.05 - Don't be such a jerk-in-the-pants!

3.09.05 - When you finally get that money to open up your first burrito joint, go the extra mile and put in a fancy salsa bar. It will pay off handsomely in the end.

3.08.05 - If you come across a treasure chest filled with gold, rubies, diamonds, pearls, and other goodies, bring it to me. I am fully trained in counterfeit inspection. Hurry.

3.07.05 - Avoid quicksand.

3.04.05 - When traveling in a time machine, avoid the year 1707 altogether. Just trust me on this one.

3.03.05 - If you find out your babysitter is a registered sex offender, etiquette says it is okay to reduce their hourly wage by 5%.

3.02.05 - If you ever fall into a deep well and find yourself face to face with a scorpion, go to WebMD.com for information on treating poisonous bites. Also, never hurts to have a small bag of sunflower seeds for that type of situation; when you are out of seeds, you can chew on the shells.

3.01.05 - Yeah, I know -- You're a Manicorn, right? You know yourself and you know your body. And, granted, Manicorn's do have a heightened sense of impending climax. But, still, do yourself and the Woman, Womanicorn, or Unicorn a favor and don't rely on the pull-out method. If nothing else, wearing a dicks-sheath makes cleanup that much easier.

2.28.05 - Don't turn in a sticker book you made as a child as an art project at the university level. It's just... dishonest.

2.25.05 - If you ever find yourself on a sinking crusieline, try to have sex with as many other passengers as you can while it's still possible. I mean, what a way to go out!

2.24.05 - To avoid the time consuming shell stuffing required when making manicotti, try using wonton wrappers instead of noodles. You can use the time saved to play a round or two of UNO®.

2.23.05 - A warm shower is conducive to blowing hearty snot rockets. Cold showers are surprisingly conducive as well.

2.22.05 - Let's be frank, manicorns simply aren't designed to be children's birthday party balloon artists.

2.21.05 - When you are wandering alone in a jungle, keep your eyes peeled for those boobie traps where you walk over a pile of leaves and there is a big hole dug underneath them so that you fall inside.


		[2.23] My Turn #1 / My Turn #2 [2.21] Manicorn's Lessons [2.15] The Beard Portraits [2.08] Original Hardy Boys Covers [2.05] Favorite Workplace Memos More...


		[3.30] Baby Got Book (Worst Thing Ever?) [3.29] Froggy Nana [3.24] JTT Super Site! [3.23] Mind The Gap [3.22] Too good to be true! More...