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Hulk's 'Hogan' ho·gan (hgan, -gn) n. A one-room Navajo structure traditionally built with the entrance facing east, used as a dwelling or for ceremonial purposes. Early hogans were made of earth-covered poles, with later models often built of logs, stones, and other materials. Slang Gigantic shlong; enormous penis. Really wanted to drive that made-up pun home. Thanks dictionary.com! Thanks genius brain! And thanks alfie fonchino for the feature 34 Adjectives or Phrases That Could be Used to Describe The Hulk's Junk. It's been a few weeks since we've had a good private parts related list. Now, in New Expression news, I sent the Press Release (beautifully written by TNE Art Director Cristy Turner) out today. Which is exciting because it means that lunchboxing might be in THE PRESS! Keep your eyes open. Shit's getting excitin'. That's all. bullied by jamie flam on 6/6/2003 :: The Freshman 15... Minutes Of Fame... On Lunchboxing  Everyone loves Tim Molloy. This one guy I know was like "That guy is sassy!" This super amazing girl once told me "Tim is a class-act. A sassified class-act." One other person was also like "I like sassafrass!" I smiled when they said that. But that's besides the point. The point is that if you think Tim is great, I have wonderful and exciting news. What if I told you that there was a Molloy out there that was younger and fresher? Doper and cooler? Radder and awesomer? Well, I can't promise all these things, but I know of a Molloy who is *at least* younger and fresher... ladies and gentlman, I am proud to introduce... Ted Molloy!!! Click here to read about his Freshman year experiences in College. You will relate. If you went to college. And can read. So read. When you are done, read as one more Molloy makes their debut. Yes, Sarah Molloy from Minnesota has put an offer on the table that will be hard to pass up for true LUBO fans and desperate males alike. If there is a difference between the two. ZONK! Click "put an offer on the table" to read. The offer on the table. Also, remember The New Expression. *The picture above is of the 50's group The Freshman. See how I totally freakin' flipped it? bullied by jamie flam on 6/5/2003 :: The New Expression Media Blitz Begins...  So I get back from a trip energized and ready to go, and just one day after saying I am reinvigorated to make lunchboxing "super-great" again, I go and don't post anything yesterday. Can I be a complete shit-dork or what?? But in all honesty, things at lunchboxing may be a bit slow over the next two weeks as my focus will be more or less 100% on the upcoming multi-media art/comedy extravanganza we are putting on June 20th and 21st in San Francisco, The New Expression. That's right, if you enjoy reading this site, then you just may enjoy seeing us live and in-person. And if you enjoy hating this site, you very well may hate watching us live. But for five bucks (more if you are rich), you really can't beat the experience of seeing a bunch of nerds show their nerdy works of art and nerdy videos and such. So go. Unless you are one of our readers in Japan or New Zealand. May not be worth your trip. So when things are slow on LUBO, check the New Expression home-page. You may just find some gems. Look out for some brand new triangle and mac, a review on Ted Molloy's first year of college, a story about riding the bus, and some other fun stuff later in the week. 'Til then, suck it! I mean that in a good way. bullied by jamie flam on 6/4/2003 :: A Northwest Passage  I am back after a voyage of discovery. I mean debauchery. No wait, just discovery. Here are some trip highlights: San Francisco, CA: I arrive at airport Friday night, check baggage, get to terminal. Announcement over loudspeaker: "Tonight's flight has been overbooked. We are accepting volunteers who would like to give up their seat in return for a free round-trip ticket to be used at any time." I inquire. There is a flight the next morning at 8 and I am guaranteed a seat. Why not?!? Free ticket. I'll go to New York! I immediately call Tim Molloy. It's soooo on. Now about the luggage I just checked... Nowhere to be found. "It'll be in Vancouver when you get there in the morning, guaranteed." "OK." Next morning rise and shine before 6. Go to United check-in. "I'm sorry to say that this flight is overbooked." "But I gave up my seat last night and was guaranteed..." "Sorry." Okaaaaay. Talk to manager, nothing they can do. I somehow manage to get on 11:00 am flight as a last second stand-by. Vancouver, British Columbia: Arrive in Vancouver, day wasted. Also, luggage nowhere. United can SUCK IT. Ask dude. He does scan thingy on my tags. "Oh, yer stuff is still in San Francisco." "Oh." Finally get it at 1:30 am after stressful evening coming to grips with wearing jeans to uncle's wedding. Next day, wedding. I am in it. Standing up next to the bride and groom (my uncle and his new wife) and everything. Can't help laughing because what the hell have I gotten myself into? Wild. Escort bridesmaids after new couple break the Jewish glass. Reception is fun. A couple of afternoon Cape Cods'll make any engagement fun. Good time family stuff with The Flams. Go shopping that night with sis. Buy plaque of mooses humping each other in foliage. Ready to leave. Get to airport for plane to Seattle. I hate flying. I walk out to smallest plane ever. Thing had propellors, need I say more? Plane was called the Air Canada "Jazz". Apparently "Jazz" is referring to the somber Dixieland type of jazz they play at New Orleans style funeral processions, because this is a death machine. Either that, or they call it "Jazz" because they think the plane is "cute" like a lil' jazz ditty. But it's not. (See above reference to death machine.) Did I mention the plane had propellors? Reading the in-flight manual, turns out that this is a Dash 8 Aircraft. The 300 Series no less. Is this a plane or a BBQ, folks?? HONK HONK! Anyways, I surprisingly didn't die, and as a result no one was left screaming my name in agony as they reminisced on that one time we were running up that hill laughing like children. Landed at SeaTac airport 35 minutes after take-off. Eugene, OR: Chris picks me up at airport. We get beef jerky and coffee and drive to Eugene. Five hours later we pull into grocery store. As we are getting out of the car Chris asks "Hey, what should we get to eat for the week?" I look at him and say "Piss and Cum", completely deadpan. Then I turn around and realize that there's a couple standing right behind me with looks on their faces as if they just heard some dude say he wanted to eat piss and cum for the week. I ran away laughing hysterically because it was hysterical. Maybe you had to be there. Grandma if you are reading this, I didn't really say that. Anyhoooooooo, spent the week chillin', ridin' bikes, making stupid videos for The New Expression, and drinking some drinks. Also came up with several inane ideas for lunchboxing. One of them was to bore readers with long, unentertaining ramblings about lost luggage and small airplanes. I am feeling productive. Thanks for kinda caring. Thanks to Jason Betrue for doing a fine job of upkeeping the site in my absence. Now I feel this weird pressure to make the site all super-good again, because it was nothing less while I was gone. Finally, thanks to Dan Fazio and Bengodi D'Oro for this Special Guest Rendition Of Triangle & Mac. It's truly classic. bullied by jamie flam on 6/2/2003 :: |
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