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Monkey Swing, Monkey Carew! It seems that you either love the Los Angeles Dodgers or hate them. There's nothing in between. Unless you just like them a little. Or perhaps more than just a little, but not that much. Maybe you are like me: You grew up a fan and you are pleased when they do well, might watch a game or two every once in a while, but not all depressed for weeks if they don't make the playoffs or make an early exit. Then there are the people that are kinda on the same fan level as me, but for another team, say, the St. Louis Cardinals. These people might have a slight distaste for the Dodgers. If the Cardinals are playing them they might decide to say that the Dodgers suck or something to a friend. But most of the time, they could care less about the Dodgers. Much like I could care less about the Cardinals. Just another example of a type of Dodger fan. Do you see what I am getting at here, folks? Isn't it clear?... I am putting up a feature that has to do with baseball and am trying to keep this short diatribe within the baseball theme. Now that I have accomplished that, I can introduce you to Lunchboxing's 2003 Baseball Preview #1: The Los Angeles Dodgers by jeff berson. There is a Muslim monkey theme involved, so get to it! bullied by jamie flam on 2/28/2003 :: If You Can't Join Them, Fuck Them!  Or so the saying goes...Yes, the title of this short story by pete nicely is a little bit racy, but expletives are welcomed with open arms here at LUBO, where we embrace the cornucopia of words, good and "bad", in the English language. Shit yeah!!!! Now read this, and then continue reading by clicking your mouse button where it says "Mo(therfucke)re". The summer after I graduated college I decided I needed to quickly move from the seaside paradise of Santa Barbara (sometimes called "the Vagina of the West Coast") back to Los Angeles (obviously "the asshole of the West Coast") to begin what I thought would be my life...Mo(therfucke)re bullied by jamie flam on 2/27/2003 :: R.I.P. Mr Rogers, We Love You Date: Thu, 27 Feb 2003 03:05:39 -0800 (PST) From: "Tim Molloy" Subject: today To: jamieflam@yahoo.com i humbly suggest we run a nice picture of mr rogers for lubo with no funny remarks. just an "r.i.p. mr. rogers, we love you" or something nice like that.  bullied by jamie flam on 2/27/2003 :: Everybody Wins Today!  Today is Wednesday, or as I like to call it, Winsday. I call it this because it puts a positive twist on my day, as I am essentially winning at everything I do! See what I am saying? I suppose, however, that I am not winning when I am walking in downtown San Francisco and some guy spits in my face and breaks my sunglasses and calls me an idiot because I am wearing sunglasses on a cloudy day and then all of my closest friends are there staring at me, including this girl I have a major crush on, and also I am naked and scared and broke because I spent my last quarter on a peanut M & M machine and it gave me two measley M & M's, one of which I dropped, which I would have normally eaten anyways, but this one fell and broke into a thousand pieces, and also my body hurts real bad and stuff. Wait a minute...that was all just a dream! Whew! Wait...hold on...no it wasn't. So maybe it wasn't a Winsday after all. But it can be for you, if you read Marc Song's Dictionary of Business Bullshitese! bullied by jamie flam on 2/26/2003 :: Word Up!  People get to lunchboxing in a variety of ways. Some find our link on certain web-sites. Probably the ones that have our link on them. Others find us when someone sends them an article they find to be funny or moving. The person that found us originally probably did so on a site that had a link to us. But perhaps the most interesting way people find our site is by doing a web-search. For some reason, lunchboxing comes up remarkably high on google searches for certain items. I am proud to say that if you do a search for Peach Smint, lunchboxing comes up number one and two! We are also the proud third search result under Shaq Wedding. Sure we have articles with references to these subjects. But I would imagine that there are also thousands of others that do too. In any case, we get the traffic, and we love it. To commerate the wonderful people who have found us in various google searches, Dan Fazio has written a beautiful piece of fan fiction using several of the search terms that have made many of you lunchboxing fans. Click here to read this wondeful fan fiction, starring Will Ferrell and Vince Vaughn. Then do a google search for this. bullied by jamie flam on 2/25/2003 :: Signs Mike Tyson is Turning His Life Around  Remember that time Mike Tyson bit Evander Holyfield's ear? It was all like totally crazy and shit! My first reaction was like "Ohhhhhh smack!", but that was strictly my brain talking. I verbalized the insanity of what transpired with more of a drawn out "Dammmmmn!". Then later that evening when I was out with some other people and they asked if I had heard about the incident, I kinda combined my brain and verbal reactions from earlier with a "I was like, Ohhhh Dammmmmn!". Then I think I got drunk and ate pizza. It was college and that's just what you did. Speaking of college, read this list of Signs Mike Tyson is Turning His Life Around by a guy that went to the same college as me. His name? Paws O' Henry. He's all totally crazy and shit. bullied by jamie flam on 2/24/2003 :: True LUBO Stories Presents: Play of the Week!  Saturday afternoon and the temperature in Los Angeles is sunny and mild. Down for two nights of vacationing in celebration of bully Chrissie Canino's birthday, members of lunchboxing's Oakland contingeny have assembled on Melrose Ave. to drink coffee, look at over priced Pumas and Adidas in colors that wouldn't match Mr. Furley's wardrobe, view scenesters from every imagineable scene ever invented, look for movie stars, and hopefully get into the type of adventures that make us lunchboxers. As we turn left onto Melrose from Crescent Heights we have our first star spotting of the day as MTV's Jesse Camp drives by in a shitty vehicle. Three of the four people in our car aren't so convinced. But I know Jesse Camp when I see Jesse Camp, and this is Jesse Camp. I am unimpressed and excited all at the same time. We find parking and thirty minutes later we have had enough of looking at Pumas and Adidas in colors that wouldn't match Mr. Furley's wardrobe, viewing scenesters from every imagineable scene ever invented, and looking for movie stars. This is when...I see a movie star: Play of seminal hip-hop fun squad Kid N' Play. You may know them better as the stars of the House Party series, which redefined the house party movie genre in the early 90's. I saw him first coming from the front of a designer women's store. We made eye contact. First I pulled Travis over to confer: "Don't look....but I think that's Play of Kid N' Play." He looks over discreetly..."Yep." Still needing further validation I call over Dore who agrees that it is in fact Play. And so I approach. Click here for the exciting middle and conclusion to the story! bullied by jamie flam on 2/24/2003 :: |
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