|
 |
Shack The Lunchboxing readership has increased dramatically in recent days, simulataneously with the addition of our article by Boozy the Clown regarding his experiences at Shaq's Wedding. Seriously, go to any popular search engine, and type in a phrase about 'Shaq' and 'getting married', and lunchboxing will be up there in the search results, usually number one! Even shaq penis has led some lucky folks to the promised land of lunchboxing. So, in staying with the recent Shaq-related recipe for success, dan fazio has created a beautiful work of fan fiction to tide you through the weekend. Click on the picture of the shack above (aren't I devilishly clever) to get to the story. I suggest reading it before, or after tonights highly publicized match up between Shaq and Yao Ming. Or even during the game. Have a wonderful MLKjr. weekend. I will be in Vegas with camera and many lunchboxing story ideas. Stay tuned! bullied by jamie flam on 1/17/2003 :: Today's Lunchboxing.com is brought to you in part by... Luther Campell's "2 Live Stews" — As Tasty As Soup Oughta Be  bullied by Jason Betrue on 1/17/2003 :: Fan Fiction Poetry Part 11  Wise and Old But bold and Omnipotent The Nice Man and Old Beardy Are Gold and Silver All wrapped into One Highway to Heaven? You bet. (They are both dead) The Beard Comes to Life When You Wish It To That's for you. All of you. Even you. Yes, you. If you have yet to do so, check the brand new Features page which has finally been made into a somewhat readable menu of lunchboxing entrees. Also, check the brand new feature from Frankie, about Partying Down. It's real fun. bullied by jamie flam on 1/16/2003 :: Talkin' Kangaroo Smack!  I was going to write a hilarious intro piece to our newest review on the "film" Kangaroo Jack, but have found that I am too nauseous to do much of anything with that horrid picture of Jerry O'Connell above. The quicker you click his pic, the quicker you can put the horrible thought of the fat kid from Stand By Me being perceived as a Hollywood hunk. Jesus Christ. bullied by jamie flam on 1/15/2003 :: In the Zone with shagittarius and speegz2002!  shagittarius and speegz2002 get in the zone and fire off some good Pete Townsend bits, as this very special IM log will attest: shagittarius: 'have you heard that new townsend song? pre-teenage wasteland speegz2002: ha ha! speegz2002: I'm researching for a book speegz2002: why don't you just stick to WRITING ROCK SONGS speegz2002: you rocker you shagittarius: he should have said im researching for a song shagittarius: But winger already wrote that one speegz2002: i'm researching for a wank shagittarius: lol shagittarius: they found 'stains' on his keyboard shagittarius: he was doing research for a song to recapture a younger audience speegz2002: I heard Townsend on tour speegz2002: opening for Raffi shagittarius: lol shagittarius: I heard raffi was joining Rage against the machine speegz2002: beats their old singer shagittarius: it must suck being a child-focused star shagittarius: instead of wanton women the smell of pampers prevades the audience shagittarius: but if your the rolling stones i guess its the same thing speegz2002: heh speegz2002: rolling stones also got caught in a child porno ring. speegz2002: they were caught looking at photos of forty year old women shagittarius: lol bullied by Mike Spiegelman on 1/15/2003 :: Meet the Parents 2: Goytastic!  If you like fish out of water stories involving Jews, non-Jews, and Grilled Stuffed Fajita Burritos, then you are in for a doozy from Pete Nicely! Click the picture of celebrity Jew Steve Guttenberg in medieval attire to read Nicely's laffer! bullied by jamie flam on 1/14/2003 :: The Gangs of Porcupine Peak by chrissie canino Oscar sweeps went off like fireworks and my mouth is still agape from the wonders of wonders that made it to the silver screen during the month of December. And, while January has presented us with very slim pickings, I feel I might make a suggestion. That's right...if you have not yet gotten the chance, run out and catch Martin Scorcese's live-action adaptation of the 80s classic Saturday morning cartoon series, Strawberry Shortcake.  Leonardo DiCaprio stars as the title role in this stunning dramatic epic about a little girl who smells like strawberries and the man who wants her dead. A peaceful slumber party goes bad when Strawberry and her friends receive a very unwanted guest: The Peculiar Purple Pie Man! And what's worse? The peach cobbler pie that they worked so hard to make has mysteriously disappeared from the oven! Strawberry Shortcake may be sweet but she does not like to be messed with. Watch her and her friends fight to take back what belongs to them while defeating the forces of evil and saving their peaceful village from sin and tyranny. Daniel Day Lewis stars in an Oscar worthy performance as the Peculiar Purple Pie Man. This films is not to be missed!  The Original Purple Pie Man  Daniel Day Lewis as The Peculiar Purple Pie Man bullied by Chrissie Canino on 1/12/2003 :: Ask Nicely In the tradition of those who answer the questions we would rather not answer ourselves, Pete Nicely is the Lunchboxing answer guy. Unlike most answer folks, Pete does not present himself as an all knowing mental-health professional, a medium to the dead or an undocumented butler with a horrible lisp. Pete is as insightful as he is paranoid, insecure as he is compassionate. Basically he’s a lot like you, but with balls (if you are female). You can Ask Nicely! Just email him at Leonard_DiCaprio@yahoo.com. Making Fun of Homos is Easy Dear Pete, From years of experience, I know making fun of homos is easy. Who are some people that are difficult to make fun of? I love a challenge. Sincerely, I. Suck Balls San Fernando Valley, Aztlan Dear Suck, You are correct. Making fun of any group of people torn between two opposing definitions, such as masculine and feminine, is easy fun. You mock them as feminine when they are male, which is funny but simple. And then emphasize their masculinity while they are performing oral sex on another man, which is hilarious but EASY. A group that I find very difficult to make fun of well is the disabled. Sure everyone uses “retarded” or “tarded” as a slam. But where’s the art? Here’s an example of how to make fun of the disabled in a skilled manner: I’m teaching a class in Self-Defense for the Disabled. A bunch of disabled people showed up which left me with the embarrassing task of explaining that my class is designed to defend you FROM the disabled. It’s the simple flip technique. We all know it, but to make fun of difficult subjects you must master it. Some other difficult to make fun of groups include children with leukemia, children with freckles and children with adult lovers. Thanks for asking nicely, Pete Pete Nicely is a frequent detractor of the Sattlerreport.com bullied by Pete Nicely on 1/12/2003 :: |
|
|
|||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
|
| lunchboxing.com 2003 | all content © | all rights reserved | suck it so hard | feel the rhythm of the night |
