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Amid the Chaos, There Comes a Coin! or Check out my deft Photoshop skills, dog! by dan fazio By now you probably enjoy the new Lunchboxing site design thoroughly, and have even showed it to all your family and friends. Before you kill yourself with the belief that you have experienced all that is good in the world, we've got another surprise for you: The official Lunchboxing coin! This US Legal Tender was lovingly crafted by the Franklin Mint, and carries a face value of $5. Of course, it is emblazoned with the heroic visage of one of Lunchboxing's founding fathers, Jamie Flam. For a mere $29.99 you can own your own Lunchboxing coin, complete with certificate of authenticity. This collector's item is sure to gain value thoroughout the years. It comes with a collector's case and display mount, so that even as your own human flesh slowly but surely rots and sloughs away from your skeleton, this fine coin can be displayed in an undying, pristine state on your mantle. By thetime your great-great-grandkids inherit this surefire family heirloom, it will probably be worth enough for them to buy new hovercars. The Lunchboxing commemorative coin. Get yours today.  bullied by jamie flam on 1/10/2003 :: Yellow Toothpick Announces Spring Release for Yarnbot 5000  That's right, folks, you heard it here first! Yarnbot 5000, the first completely knit robot (since yarnbot 2000) will hit the market this Spring. Programmer/Seamstress Michelle Romo is excited about the release, as is yarnbot himself, who proclaimed "My name is totally yarnbot 5000. I love it." Specs for the new robot include: -412 Carbine Needle Power -50% Cotton/50%Lycra/25% robot type shit -Serves lemonade. But only pink lemonade. -Writes witty articles for lunchboxing. -Doubles as garbage disposal. -Dry clean only! Welcome to the lunchboxing family, yarnbot 5000! For other creations by designer extraordinaire Michelle Romo be sure to check out her wonderful site yellowtoothpick.com. Click here to see the lunchboxing logo she created! bullied by jamie flam on 1/10/2003 :: Not Home Sweet Not Home!  Some guys have all the luck. And sometimes they don't need many words to describe it. Check out lunchboxer Stinky Ninja in action as he toured Europe during his holiday break from business school in Spain. Looks like he did it right. Real right. Click on the pic above for the Photo Retrospective. bullied by jamie flam on 1/9/2003 :: In case your blind (or you're using lynx) I created a new skin for lubo for you to feast on. Probably the most notable change is the new font size, I figured wtf, make it nice and big. Everything else is basically the same, however, if you spot some graphical glitches or any other technical problems, point it out to me in the comments and I'll jump on it. I haven't had a chance to test this on a Mac but it looks alright on both IE and Mozilla so it should be legit on whatever god forsaken browser you use to download porn with. bullied by ryan kamins on 1/9/2003 :: Don't Forget To Read The Label!  Bad things to read on wrappers of food products you've just consumed a short list by tim molloy -Loaded with so much calcium you'll grow backspikes -Now with two big scoops of explosive-on-contact-with-stomach-lining goodness -Hunk O' Dandruff -Nutri-Blood Plus -May cause users to start talking crazy talk -Dangerous for children of once-expectant mothers -Write to P.O. Box 6271, Wauskegan, IL 76301 for secret antidote -Now a major motion picture -May contains trace amounts of flesh-eating tarantula-bots -Attention: Think of the melody for Smashmouth's "All-Star." There, now it will be stuck in your head all day. -Warning: THE CALLS ARE COMING FROM INSIDE THE HOUSE! bullied by jamie flam on 1/8/2003 :: Totally Tripped Out Tuesday.  Hello lunchboxers. Trip out. Today is Totally Tripped Out Tuesday here at lunchboxing. I call it this because it seems that the trippiest things seem to happen to me on Tuesdays and only Tuesdays. Take for example this morning. My friend and lunchboxing contributor Noah (aka quarterbar) went into Noah's Bagels (which is trippy in itself), and the hot girl that works there had her puppy with her. Trippy. Then, after this, at work, Noah had a craving for something sweet. So he goes into his drawer to get some change from the vending machine and finds that there is a movie-sized bag of M & M's in there from when he saw Lord of the Rings. Insanely trippified. Then, when he was relaying his M & M story to me, I realized that I too had a craving for something sweet. Tripfest '96. So that's why today is Totally Tripped Out Tuesday. If you have any stories like this, you can come to our Positive Vibrations Meeting tonight. We'll discuss how trippy they are. To commemorate today's trippiness, I invite you to read a completely unrelated addition to the ever-growing Lunchboxing Canon of Fan Fiction. This week's installment comes from Friend's star Matt LeBlanc. Click here to read! bullied by jamie flam on 1/7/2003 :: The Adventures Continue...  Baruti's quest for enlightenment abroad continues in this newest installment of THE BARUTI COLUMN. Does he ward off killer snake spiders in Timbuktu? Make love to a beautiful native woman in Saipan? Thwart the plan of evil hijackers in Greenland? No to all three questions. He's in another part of the world completely. Also, all those things are highly unlikely. Except maybe the making love to a woman part. That's possible. But still....Click on the picture above or where it says "The Baruti Column" in all caps to read more. bullied by jamie flam on 1/6/2003 :: Secret Basketball Engagements  Did you hear much about Shaquille Oneal's highly secretive wedding last month? Probably not, considering it was highly secretive. Meaning that only close, personal friends and family were allowed to take part in the highly secretive ceremony and after-party. Luckily, we know people here at lunchboxing. People that know things. Highly secretive things. They were able to get some undercover dirt on some of the happenings of the event. Highly secretive dirt. So click on the picture of tuxedoed Shaq to read about one of the most highly secretive weddings in Shaquille O'Neal basketball history! bullied by jamie flam on 1/6/2003 :: |
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