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 bullied by jamie flam on 12/6/2002 :: Four Reason You Need To Love Lunchboxing  1. It's the sexiest site on the inter-web. 2. The guy in the above picture is a staff writer for this very site. He loves sex. 3. It's as funny as it is sexually pleasing. And sexy. 4. Because I payed you a buck fifty and bought you a burrito at El Pollo Loco to say you love the site. bullied by jamie flam on 12/5/2002 :: Birthday Dreams of Love From The Faz  Click the reatrded picture of the bear above for a brand new feature from Dan Fazio! bullied by jamie flam on 12/4/2002 :: Two For The Price of One!   Meet Baruti and Mike. One went to UC Santa Barbara. The other may have gone to Harvard! One is currently in a far away place. The other is in Emeryville! One may or may not like super spicy food. The other also may or may not like super spicy food! So different these two are, and yet at the same time so similair. In many ways, like all of us here on this planet. You listening, Saddam? Because that may or may not have been a profound thought that could make you think when acting so stupid about stuff....Anyhoo! Check out Mike's latest review of the movie "Comedian"or Baruti's latest feature about his travels overseas. You may or may not enjoy them! bullied by jamie flam on 12/3/2002 :: A New Miracle for Hanukkah or How My Current Mach 3 Blade has Lasted Almost a Month  My middle-aged Uncle Shlomo often jokes, “Jews have our own Holy War. It’s the war against high prices, the Jewhyad.” I enjoy the joke almost as much as his twenty-two year old Philippina bride who laughs with guttural glee and says to my Grandma, “That was good one. Right Mom?” My Grandma’s nods her head but shivers with her whole being. But it is true. In modern thought the only thing the Jew is known more for than their frugality is their parsimoniousness. It’s a quality that we half-assed Jews of the new millennium need to embrace. Jews love a good deal. And the only thing we love more than a good deal is a great deal that follows us kicking someone’s ass out of Jerusalem. Hence the story of Hanukkah: The Jews force their enemies from the holy temple and then try to light the place up with one day’s worth of oil. One day’s oil lasts eight days. Let’s have a party and all light the menorah. In America Hanukkah is just a way to keep young Jews from defecting round Christmas time. We forget the ass kicking/spendthrift quality of it all. This time is crazy; no one cares about the magic of these Jewish holy days amidst the red and green blur of it all. As a young Jew I’ll admit that I often wished that I too could celebrate Christmas and have a normal-sized nose. I’ll admit it took a Hanukkah miracle of my own to wake me up to the true message of this Holiday and appreciate my own personal Hebe-ness. I just moved into a new place. In the hustle and bustle of it all, I have forgotten again and again to get a new MACH 3 blade for my razor. I have new ones in my trunk but again and again I get out of my car and forget to grab the new ones. But, it’s not just laziness. My blade is telling me that it’s not necessary yet! The blue strip that lasts as long as the razor is good is still visible on my current razor. After at least twenty-five shaves it is as blue as the blue on the flag of Israel. Can I forget God’s role in this miracle? Of course not. Every time I go to use the razor and remember how dumb I am for not getting the new one out and then see the blue and STILL get the best shave a man can get, EVEN when shaving against the grain, I say, “Thank God.” bullied by Pete Nicely on 12/3/2002 :: Welcome Back Lunchboxers!  Hi! I'm Reese Witherspoon! You may know me from my movies! Anyways, as a movie star, it my honor and duty to make appearances from time to time so that my biggest fans can get to know the real me. The Reese that you don't see behind the camera. The Reese that enjoys a ride out in the country, on a horse. Or the Reese that loooves fat-free cupcakes! And of course the Reese that can't get enough of that funky lunchboxing shit! So allow me to divulge a little bit more about me: I enjoy horserides in the country and fat-free cupcakes! And I would like to express my gratitude for lunchboxing by sharing with you a list of some of the current films I am negotiating right now. Perhaps you can tell me, via the handy "comments" section of the site, what films you think suit me best. That would be greatly appreciated! So click here to read! Well, I better get going, my fat-free cupcakes are about ready! WINK! ;) bullied by jamie flam on 12/2/2002 :: |
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