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Yowzerz! Yes sir! Lunchboxing is getting Sex-Ay! And just in time for the weekend. Did you know that statistically, more people engage in sexual intercourse on a Saturday than they do on a Tuesday? If you ask me, it's probably because more people have the day off on Saturday. But you didn't ask me. And I also made that statistic up. Although I bet it's true. In any case, check this list of sexual positions and acts that you will probably hope to never engage in. You will laugh, you will cry, and you then you will laugh again. And if you have a significant other, you will probably forgo reading this and hump them instead. That's what I would do. Yes, that's what I would do... Also be sure to check out the lunchboxing review of the trailer for Maid in Manhattan by newest lunchboxer Guy Branum. He really takes trailer reviews to a new level. A better level. An important level. The Lunchboxing level! Have a great weekend, lunchboxerz! bullied by jamie flam on 11/22/2002 ::  It's true, we totally do. Which is why we have opened our heart, as well as our website, to organizations that are doing their part to reach out to those in need. As part of this new monthly feature, we hope to educate and inform our community about the people who are helping people, as well as offer ways for you, the lunchboxing reader, to get involved. So do yourself a favor and click the "lunchboxing totally cares" icon above, and open your heart and ass, as we have, to this month's featured charity The American Asshole Association. Seriously, thanks. bullied by jamie flam on 11/21/2002 :: According to UC Berkeley Researchers: Things that Michael Jackson Can Do to Piss People Off Even More  1. Dangle a baby over a sinking oil tanker 2. Drag race babies 3. Cover his baby and toddler’s faces when in public so they grow up with the impression that they are freaks that need to be protected from everything 4. Finance his baby’s desire to manufacture weapons of mass destruction 5. Have more babies 6. Call up people he just met in the middle of the night asking to speak to their baby 7. Chase his baby with a rolling pin 8. Appear in a picture with Halle Berry and Boris Becker holding a golden Bambi statue bullied by Pete Nicely on 11/20/2002 :: Unfit to be TIDE  If you have never gone to a supermarket, washed clothing, flipped through a PETA magazine, or watched Television, there is a small chance that you have not heard of Tide detergent. Just in case you haven't, let's just say that Tide is a special type of soap that you put in a washing machine to help make your clothes clean. If you are familiar with the brand, you may also be familiar with their new ad campaign in which they explain a multitude of reasons why Tide is a great product that might come in handy for you. Cherry Pie a la Shirt is one example. In our neverending quest to keep our finger on the pulse of the laundry detergent marketing industry, we at Lunchboxing.com decided to do a little investigative digging into what makes a brilliant campaign, such as this, come to life. What we discovered may shock you. Things at Tide HQ weren't pretty. Hundreds of recent grads working as many as 8 hours a day - sometimes with only a forty-five minute lunch break, and being paid only tens of dollars per hour to produce slogans for the new Tide campaign. Needless to say, some of the "Marketing Assistants" cracked under the pressure. In the following pages you will find examples of the slogans created by these underprivileged workers under such strenuous conditions. Again, the following jettisoned advertising materials may be disturbing to some readers. Proceed With Care bullied by Jason Betrue on 11/19/2002 :: FM Nation I’ll suffer derision to say that MTV's new reality show FM Nation is genius. Simply: It’s the best use of "real life" on television. It’s painful and embarrassing, but not because of the production. The pain and embarrassment comes from the subject matter, which is the variety of things teenagers and college-aged people will do to try and have a good time on a weekend night. And the pain and embarrassment is just a sliver of what it feels like to experience that mess first-hand. Go to a town, any town: Toledo, Salt Lake City, Mobile… Find a groups of kids, any kids: blond Mormon girls, street racers, kids in a punk band... Put some cameras on them. Let the pop radio stations tie the stories together with music and hollow, party-time DJ’s. Pink is on the radio, she is a hazard to herself. Set the inciting incident: Borderline personality Anja has to choose between her domineering boyfriend and a faceless guy, Mark wants to tell Flora he really likes her more than a friend, Skippy uses models to explain his unrequited love and ask her to the Cher concert, Warrant is in town and we are going to get backstage... By the way, the Red Hot Chili Peppers are on the radio. The stories complicate. No girl likes the guy that has to explain that he likes her. Everyone likes Cypress Hill. Then the stories resolve and we find out the ridiculous aftermaths where people never speak to each other again, both girls still work at Hooters but one is about to leave the middle of nowhere to try out for American Idol II. The universalities are blinding. The behavior is uneasy. The music is bad. This is real life and if you hate this show, who can blame you? bullied by Pete Nicely on 11/18/2002 :: Pete Nicely on 11/18/2002 :: A Word on Romance  I just want someone who will do shit like scratch my head because they want to. This has been A Word On Romance... bullied by Jason Betrue on 11/18/2002 :: Political Cartoons Gone Wild!  Yo yo! Politics are mad deaf, yo! For reals, them shits be like "Padow!", much like the cartoonist who be contributing to this site and shit! What's that? I am misusing the adjective "deaf"? The "deaf" I am looking for is actually spelled "d-e-f"? No shit? My bust. Disregard that book up there then. But click on it anyways to read two def-ass political cartoons. DEF! bullied by jamie flam on 11/18/2002 :: |
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